Alone, Jealous, and Stoned
by LaurynHill
Summary: Far away from home on their special day what he feels in response to the day. Onesided Taiora, Songfic.


**(A/N: I don't own Digimon. Toei does, unfortunately... I'd buy them out if I had the cash :) I don't own the song, "Alone, Jealous, and Stoned" by the Secret Machines, either. They're a band from the U.K. and they're really good. You should really listen to them sometime. Now to the fic... It's not that long and it's my first. So, I want you to review it liek you would any other. You don't have to "go easy" on me. I want to be able to fix it becuase I know it's probably not perfect. In your review, if you'd be as kind to give me something I could improve on, it would be appreciated. I'd like a review more meaningful that: "Dude, nice work." or something like that. I'm not gonna say anything about the fic accept its a one-sided Taiora and this is a one-shot. Not that I'm against Taiora (I love it), this is just telling the story as Toei gave us (to our dissappointment). And there were supposed to be little indents with the lyrics, but I guess doesn't have the technology to provide that service.**** This isn't MLA either, people. I think you'll be able to figure out who's speaking, and who's thinking what. Enjoy the story!)**  


Alone, Jealous, and Stoned

I'm checked in. I'm in my room. There is just one big thing wrong with that though: I shouldn't be at any hotel, let alone a hotel 400 miles away from home. I should have been at a park in Tokyo. This place was really close to my apartment complex in Odaiba, actually, it was within walking distance. I just had to walk over the bridge and up a few blocks, and I was there. It's not like I would have walked there in a tux, though. I was supposed to be at Hamarikyu Onshi Teien, on the waterfront with gardens, ponds, and the like. I'd never even heard of that park before - when was it - May, when it was decided that that's where the wedding would take place. And what was it now? June 27th or something. Around there.

_"A __beautiful June wedding in a __beautiful park."_

_"Oh, what a perfect place to have a wedding."_

_"I've always dreamt about having a June wedding, Yamato."_

That last one blows my mind. I always thought that comment would have been directed to me, Taichi.

**Must have lived so long with covered eyes  
When did you say good-bye?  
Only just waking up**

**To all the joy that you've outgrown  
Memories I can't break  
Alone, jealous and stoned **

I think I pulled into some small, seaside town. Nakatsu? Yea, that sounds about right. It took me about seven hours to get here. I just kept on driving. I only knew I was going away from Tokyo, away from Odaiba, and away from that wedding.

I drove into some motel, which ever one looked the cheapest. The room is nothing special. It's got a bed and a TV with cable. The ocean isn't too far off. The lady at the office said it was on the other side of town; said it was beautiful. I guess I can go down there. Throw a few rocks into the sea, walk along the beach, and even wade in the water a little. Just like that time when we went to the beach three years ago.

_Tai fell on to the bed, hands behind his head, looking up at the ceiling. _

When I would splash you with water. When you would push me in. When we used to have that type of relationship. When we could be ourselves. When you were single. Now I'm alone.

**  
Idle kids with idle hearts  
Some of them went too far  
Some are still waiting there**

**Sitting at home, what am I doing?  
Boy waiting by the phone  
Alone, jealous and stoned **

I guess I should have been a little more aggressive. That's my nature, isn't it? To act first, ask questions later, right? Well, I didn't act first. Yamato did. Seeing as you accepted his offer, I could only be happy for you. Was I supposed to envy him? No, I was his friend. I had to be happy, for the both of you.

He asked you the winter of our freshman year, after the trip to the beach. Was I happy for you? Yes, I was happy that you were happy. Was I happy? No. Obviously my act fooled you, someone I've known my whole life. My trademark grin was really all that convincing? I didn't think so, but I guess that's because I knew I was faking it.

I knew that our friendship suffered. We spent less time together. Less movie nights, less lunches together, and most importantly: less soccer games. I thought you would eventually miss our games, but you didn't. You spent more time going to dinner with Yamato, watching movies with Yamato, going shopping with Yamato. I don't know about you, but I still waited by the phone, anticipating your calls. I stopped calling you in our Sophomore year, but you didn't notice. We had known each other so well before that; we _were _best friends, but it seemed I knew you less and less as tiem went on. Our conversations just became small talk. It meant nothing.

So what happens. Yamato goes and pops the question in front of all of us at dinner after prom, senior year. We went to some fancy, expensive restaurant after that night. Yamato's treat. He could afford it, with all the money he makes from his band. So, he pulls out a black box, opens it, and inside is a big diamond on a big ring.

"It's so _beautiful_, Yamato. Of course I'll marry you," you said, with that look of wonder in your eyes. I remember, Mimi screamed, Koushiro and the band congratulated Yamato, and I put on my fake grin; no one noticed.

Straight out of high school too. I thought you were smarter than that. I also thought you would have wanted a simpler ring. you were never the flashy type. Jealous? I was, and still am.

**I waited for you  
I waited for you  
I always waited for you **

_'Last week of school! Yes! Four days left. That was something to look forward to. I just gotta get out of this school.'_

_"Tai! Taichi, wait up!"_

_"Huh? Oh, hey Yamato."_

_"Tai, when did you start calling me Yamato? Dude, remember, my name is Matt to all my friends."_

_'Oh, yea, sure. We're friends.' "Oh."_

_"Come on, it's the last week of school. Lighten up."_

_"Uh huh."_

_"I have a big favor to ask. Listen, you know our wedding is the 27th, right? So, I wanted to ask you if you would be my best man. Ok?"_

_'Best man? Is he serious? Who the hell does he think he is, asking me to do that? Doesn't he realize that I love Sora too?' "Yea, sure."_

_"Tai! Thanks a lot, you don't know how much this means to me."_

_'Yea, I'm sure...'_

**Can't have been too late as I was still warm  
Fighting off heavy eyes   
Still thinking you would call**

**Echoing words, voices, thoughts  
Remembering what you forgot  
And I was just hanging out**

**Sitting at home, what am I doing?  
Boy waiting by the phone  
Alone, jealous and stoned **

Going to the ocean wasn't such a good idea. It wasn't _beautiful_ at all. 'Beautiful' means nothing to me. It's a common, overused word that is wrongly used. That ring wasn't beautiful, it was ugly. The park - it may have had a lot of colorful flowers and tall, mature trees, but it only would have given me allergies. The only thing that is truly beautiful is you. The ocean was calming. If the weather was warmer, it would have been inviting.

The ocean only brought back memories of us, memories you must have forgotten. The stuff you never had time to reminisce with me about. When we were kids playing soccer. The Digital World. Wow, what an experience. That really started our friendship, which only grew stronger until high school. I wish I could go back to that time when we were just kids. When we didn't recognize our feelings for each other, if you ever even had feelings for me. I now know I had some for you.

So, on the way back to this motel room, I stopped at the local store and bought some type of alcohol. Hey, I looked like I was twenty, so, it's not like some person out here in the middle of nowhere would ask me for ID. Whatever I bought, it was already halfway done. This wasn't the first time I've drank before, don't worry. I've had some at Yamato's concerts so I know what I'll be like tomorrow. I also went to health class so I know that this will just make me more depressed and drunk. But hey, who really cares?

I'm 400 miles away from Tokyo; 400 miles away from that wedding. I let down Yamato. I was his "Best Man." I let you down too. Today was your special day and I skipped out. I kept on driving and didn't stop. Did you even miss me? Notice I was gone? Now I'm all by myself with my bottle of alcohol, thinking about how lucky Yamato has it, while I waste away in front of a blank TV screen.

**I waited for you  
I waited for you  
I always waited for you **

**I waited for you  
I waited for you  
I always waited for you**

Well, Sora, all I can say is that I will always wait for you. I don't think I have room in my heart for another person. I've known you all my life. Everyone thought we'd be getting married. Honestly, I thought so too. There's nothing I can do about it now. Well, I guess a toast is in order:

"To Sora and Yamato, the _beautiful_ newlyweds."

**(A/N) So I hoped you liked it. I thought it was even pretty good. I have an idea for a sequel, though I don't know whether or not I could make it a true Taiora, despite how much I'd love to make it one, but a sequel is last on my list. I'm working with ideas for another story. Review please! Thanks!)**


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